


Life on the Outside Ain't What It Used to Be

by otherrealmwriter



Category: Invader Zim, Superjail! (Cartoon)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:01:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28035087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otherrealmwriter/pseuds/otherrealmwriter
Summary: After a conversation with his long lost Warden brother, Professor Membrane agrees to have Dib help him at Superjail in an effort to discourage his interest in the paranormal. Only upon being captured by Jailbot to head to the prison, things go out of hand when Zim finds himself chasing his enemy to keep up their fight
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

I don't own Superjail or Invader Zim okay? After seeing some comments on The Warden looking a lot like Dib, and seeing how messed up the Warden's father is (Because frankly we know that if Jhonen had his way, then Invader Zim could border on some of that territory...) this idea of crossing the two popped into my mind. Anyway, enough of this A/N, on with the fic!

Professor Membrane sighed as he looked at the calender. It was approaching June and school would be letting out for the summer. Dib would be entering high school the following fall and he didn't know what to do about him. He was extremely worried about his love of what he had dubbed, "para-science" and no matter what he did, Dib would not seem to kick this and kept accusing his "foreign friend" Zim (as Professor Membrane called the Irken) of being an alien. An extraterrestrial as one time Professor Membrane in an effort to break Dib of this explained that "alien" could mean immigrant or visitor from another country. So Dib had to come back with "Zim is an extraterrestrial" knowing his father could not debate that one away with semantics and he dismissed the idea completely. He even offered to take Zim in and see if he could treat the "illness" that Professor Membrane thought made his skin green, react adversely to water and meat and have no ears, but Zim always refused.

"Well if you checked his DNA to see if you could treat his 'illness'" Dib explained once to him, "Then you would see it isn't human DNA, I doubt he's even a carbon based life form! Zim isn't entirely stupid, he knows you are a top scientist on this planet and would be exposed if he did take you up on your offer."

Professor Membrane knew Dib was smart. A genius in fact. Things he built were well beyond what your typical 14 year old could ever hope to come up with. His reasoning skills, while in the professor's mind wrong, were solid. One can argue a falsehood in a way that sounds so believable and using actual facts that one could believe the incorrect fact. While thinking about this, Simmons paged Professor Membrane. "Sir, a Mark Davis for you on line one. Says it's been awhile since he's talked to you."

Mark Davis? He knew that name, but he didn't know many would know the connection he had to him. That was his brother he hadn't seen since they were very little and their parents divorced. He blocked out the memories of his psychopathic and disciplinarian father who happened to dress a lot like Mr. Monopoly and focused on his childhood with his mother who actively encouraged him to follow his scientific dreams, even if she was a bit of a naturalist hippie herself. How Mother and Father got together will be beyond me. They say opposites attract but that takes it to a new level there. In the settlement, Mark went with his father and Professor Membrane with his mother. The boys were given the respective parent's last names and hardly had contact with each other. That is until a place called Superjail contracted Membrane Labs to help build the Warden's prototype robots called Jailbots. Membrane was able to make them to the Warden's design perfectly and when he came in person to pick up the robots, it was at this time, the long separated brothers realized just what became of the other. "After all, who can forget your hair Membrane?" The Warden laughed.

"Yes." Professor Membrane had growled. He headed to the phone with a sigh. He knew his brother could be a little...unstable and enjoy punishment and torture a little too much but he had assumed that just came with the fact their father was the one who raised him and was made Warden of the prison at a young age. "What is it Mark?" Professor Membrane sighed picking up the phone.

"Well well well now Membrane, no need to be so formal and stoical brother. I was just calling to check up on my favorite sibling." The Warden smiled.

"I'm your only sibling." Professor Membrane sighed placing his face in his hands.

"True. I was just calling to say hello and check up on you and my niece and nephew. Gas and Dub?" He asked.

"Gaz and Dib." Professor Membrane growled.

"Oh, sorry I haven't seen them other than news clippings of when you got upset someone threw an ice cream cone at your perpetual energy generator and denied the world free power. Like a baby." The Warden teased. "But honestly, you have a hard time with Dib's name yourself sometimes."

"Quiet. You know I couldn't send a robot to throw an angry ice cream fueled civilian into a maniacal jail like you can." Professor Membrane said.

"Oh that is true. Due process can be such a pain in the ass sometimes. Just think how better this would would be without it."

Calm down Membrane. You know your brother is just a little touched...something some therapy, electroshock probably, might fix but he had to live under Father. Although I do wonder if Mother did psychological drugs while pregnant with him... "Our versions of a better world are different."

"Yes, yes they are. But mankind cannot be trusted to behave for the good on their own." The warden said in a sing song way. "I mean you are not pure yourself having your company build my Jailbots."

"It was an interesting challenge. I knew you weren't stupid brother, but I doubted it could be done."

"Awwwwwwwww... you doubted me. How brotherly." The Warden said as Professor Membrane took a deep breath. He knew his brother wasn't as sadistic and twisted as their father but he was like if Willy Wonka was given the rule of a Soviet Gulag. "But seriously, how are Dib and Gaz doing?"

"The same. Dib still obsessed with his para-science and Gaz playing nothing but video games." How Membrane wanted to end this conversation right now.

"Oh I know about Gaz's gaming. She runs a let's play channel on Youtube that I have caught Alice watching from time to time. Did you not know that?"

"Guess I did not. I do hear that Youtube does pay content creators so I applaud her entrepreneurial spirit."

"One could call it that." The Warden said propping his feet up on his desk.

At this, Professor Membrane got an idea. "Dib has been getting himself into a lot of trouble lately. Chasing around this foreign kid named Zim, accusing him of being an extraterrestrial instead of another person with a skin condition. So maybe, I could send him to your Superjail to see what could await him" Both legally and psychologically...

"Well well well, do you want him in with the prisoners or just to be Jared's assistant or something like that?"

"Not with the prisoners unless he gets that crazy. I don't think he needs it that bad." Professor Membrane said, slight doubt of his idea striking him already.

"Gotcha. Well I am sure I can do something to scare your boy straight. I'll send a jailbot to get him right away. I'll tell him everything when he gets here." The warden said as he hung up. "Jailbot!" He yelled as a flying robot flew up beside him and saluted with it's claw. "I need you to get my nephew Dib Membrane and bring him here. You can't miss him. Pointy hair like my brother." with this Jailbot flew off to retrieve the boy.

"I didn't know you had a brother sir." Jared said.

"Well I don't talk about him much. I just had a certain urge to do a good deed. Maybe if this works we can start our own 'Scared Straight' program and get one of those TV shows as well. No way will my brother top me there. 'Probing the Membrane of Science.' Ha! I designed this whole thing and my brother gets upset if someone is impatient with his inventions or has Fast Food sponsor his wings. Our only corporate backer is the private prison lobby and even then I have to tell them this is what they want and to shut up about costs."

Meanwhile, as school was out of session, Dib was walking to Zim's house, pumping a water gun. Sure it may not have been one of his most brilliant schemes but he had a whole three months to get it altogether before Hi-Skool. This was going to be just a start. He was going to incapacitate Zim, GIR would let him walk right past and he'd plant a few spy bugs in his base and try and walk out with some of the technology. Just a simple mission today. He approached the oddly built house with garden gnomes everywhere and started to walk to the door when Zim opened the door with a super soaker of his own.

"I anticipated you would try something like this Dib." Zim said as he ran towards him. "So I have filled this water gun with gravy and will soak you to the bone with this sauce!"

"What? Gravy?" Dib asked, holding his water gun at his side.

"Yes. Then the neighbor's dog will come after you and lick you to death." Zim smiled. Dib's eyes widened in shock. He hated that little chihuahua and he could not stand it. "I see I have terrified you Dib-stink"

"Not if I get to you first!" Dib said as he jumped to the fence and to the tops of the gnomes, each one firing lasers at each other. "I managed to take out your gnome field as well spaceboy!"

"I can always plant more." Zim said as he aimed the gravy filled squirt gun at Dib. As this fight of water and gravy filled playthings continued, Jailbot flew into the neighborhood and saw the pointy haired, big headed teenager via the scanners it was built into and threw out its claw and grabbed ahold of Dib. Zim paused and looked at this robot that had captured his worst enemy. "Hey! The bigheaded fool is mine!" Zim yelled as he aimed the gravy squirt gun at Jailbot who immediately pulled out a flamethrower and fired it at Zim, who ran off from it.

"Just what is going on?" Dib asked as the robot then turned and flew back through the city towards a cloud covered island. Looking at the clouds, it looked like some of them formed the shape of a man wearing a top hat and glasses a lot like his that the robot flew through what looked like an opening mouth and towards what looked like a volcanic island. The robot then flew through a window into an office where a man was sitting wearing a purple tuxedo and top hat with glasses and black hair sat staring at him with a smile and fingers in a pyramid. The robot threw him down on the ground and Dib looked up at the man. "What? What is going on here?"

"Dib Membrane welcome to your summer Superjail program! So nice to see my nephew in person for once, rather than your father's cameras." The warden said with a huge smile.

So how was that? Good? Bad? Short? Long? Let me know in a review. Now this head-cannon I came up with was just to make sure the crossover would work and played on the fact The Warden looked a lot like an adult Dib. But since The Warden does have a back story, I had to make that work. I have a separate head-cannon for the Membrane family used in other instances. And this fic is a for fun one so it's not going to be like some of my 3k+ chapters I pulled off in my latest fic (But that's a different fandom and different thing altogether.) So remember to read (well you just did) and to review. Ciao for now,

otherrealmwriter

aka

Realm.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own SuperJail! or Invader Zim okay? So glad to see people liked the last chapter so I am going to try to keep that steam going. (I have proven I can do that when I want to.) So anyway, enough of this A/N, on with the fic!

"Superjail? Nothing I did was illegal, that I know of." Dib said as he looked around the office wondering just what he did this time. Was it one too many calls to the FBI? Dib then looked up at the man with confusion. He claimed he was his uncle. "Dad never mentioned a brother."

"Well what your father never mentions to you could fill a library. But I am indeed your Uncle Warden." The Warden said as he pulled out one of Dib's hairs causing him to wince in pain. "See I'll prove it for you." He took the hair over to a machine and pulled one of his own to match it. "We usually use this for mere record keeping on who died in a riot or whatever, they get so bloody, but we can also find next of kin this way. Like we are supposed to by law...ugggh those congressmen who should be in here take all the fun out of this job." The warden adjusted a few controls on the machine. "Simple test to compare your paternal grandfather genetic markers to my father's and you'll see." Dib looked over the Warden's shoulder This guy has to be making it up, has to be. Black hair and the same style of glasses does not a genetic relation make... The machine dinged. "And as you see little Dibby poo, you are genetically my nephew. And no, I do not intend to throw you to the jail."

"Who is this kid Warden?" A gruff voice said from behind Dib, picking him up by the collar of his trench coat.

"Oh Alice, this is my nephew. I told you he was coming for a summer program at the request of my brother."

"Oh. My bad sir." Alice said dropping Dib, who turned to look at the guard, a redheaded, muscular woman-looking person. He wasn't sure if Alice was born that way or just a guard in drag, but he knew that whatever Alice was, Dib was not going to get on the wrong side of her.

"Now, let us get started little Dibby-poo, you will learn all about how SuperJail works, its design, which is all of my own working. My blood sweat and tears went into it and building it." The Warden said guiding Dib along the hallways. "You will learn how the human mind works, how it can be exploited to reform the prisoners and change society."

"Uhhhhhhhh...okay..." Dib said, weirded out from where he ended up, and just what he was around.

Meanwhile Zim stood holding his gravy squirt gun looking towards where Jailbot had taken Dib and flown off with him. Just what was that thing, and why did it go after Dib? Dib was his nemesis and no one else's and he was going to be the one to destroy him. No one else. "You will not steal Zim's nemesis you flying robot!" He yelled as he threw down the squirt gun and headed back into his base. He was going to find Dib and bring him back and finish his plans to destroy him there at his base! "Computer!" Zim yelled.

"What?" Zim's computer moaned.

"I need you to try and track a robot that came by."

"Why?" The AI sighed.

"Because I told you to!" Zim yelled back. "I am your master!"

"Regretfully." The AI moaned. "So what is it you want me to try and track?"

"About 30 minutes ago, a white rectangular robot with helicopter blades picked up Dib and flew to the east. What can you do about it?" Zim asked.

" I can try to pick up on the trail of exhaust and maybe Dib's bio-signature if it can be obtained, you do have samples of it on file." The AI said.

"Do that!" Zim yelled. "And when you have his location, send that to the navigator on the Voot Cruiser!"

"Sure." The AI sighed and began the tracking process.

"GIR!" Zim said.

"YES MY MASTER!" GIR said dropping down from the ceiling holding a pig and jar of hazelnut spread.

"Just what are you doing with the pig and that spread?" Zim asked.

GIR's eyes turned blue. "I don't know."

"Never mind that." Zim sighed, knowing whatever response was going to be ridiculous anyway. "I need you to come with me while we get Dib and bring him back to destroy. I will not let my evil plans go to waste! Once the computer has Dib's trail, we are going to follow it and finish what I started!"

"Yaaaaaay! Going on a trip!" GIR said as he grabbed a beach ball and sunglasses and a pig and headed to the Voot cruiser.

"Just whatever." Zim sighed, knowing it was useless to argue with GIR.

Dib sighed as he sat with his uncle and looked at the hardened criminals in a line up. "Now turn to the left!" The Warden said as the prisoners turned in various directions. Just what this would do to help correct their behavior or rehabilitate them into society, Dib had no real clue, but he was stuck here, so might as well go along with it. "Ugggghhhh no! Let's try the right!" Same thing happened. "No! No! No! No! No! Superjail's Christmas in July Nutcracker Prison Ballet Suite is in 3 weeks and I don't see 5 sugar plums, I see 5 guys who don't know their moves and don't seem to care! There I said it!" The Warden pouted.

"Ummmm... what is going on here?" Dib asked Jared, knowing he'd get a better answer out of him.

"Well you see Dib, The Warden here thought it would a nice festive touch and improve prisoner morale if they had a Christmas in July celebration so he's going all out. And picked 5 of the toughest and most violent prisoners to put on a Nutcracker ballet for the prison." Jared explained.

"Okay so other than morale, what does ballet have to do with anything?" Dib sighed.

"Well it's one of the Warden's more, calm methods of handling the prisoners. He thinks that if men with reputations like these are taught something that requires discipline and is very nonviolent like ballet, then maybe they can be rehabilitated. It's one of the nicer programs he puts on to get the funding he needs for his more devious one. Although I don't know if he even knows what devious is..." Jared sighed.

"Well that's an idea...I guess..." Dib sighed. Frankly he didn't know what to think but just to go with what was happening. He hadn't been into the jail itself yet as The Warden figure the Nutcracker Ballet rehearsal would be a good introduction to what he did. Clearly his uncle was unhinged but not totally careless. Made him wonder if it was just the life that he had growing up or if some of this ran in the family and if it did run, then was he, Dib, disturbed a little as well? No you can't think like that. You're not insane, headstrong at times, maybe but not insane... he thought as he continued to watch his uncle berate convicted felons of not being graceful flowers while bound in prison sculpted muscle. Nice idea Dad... He thought as he dozed off, noticing what looked like two long blonde haired men wearing jumpsuits pop in the room

"Look at that brother. He looks a lot like the Warden." One of the Twins said.

"Indeed." The other nodded. Dib looked up at them curiously.

"Oh no! We have been spotted."

"Let us flee!" with this they poofed out of the room.

"Just what the hell was that?" He asked as he turned back to the Warden and Jared going over the finer points of Christmas ballet.

Zim paced his base, packing the Voot Cruiser with any weaponry he would need to save then destroy Dib. He had kept GIR busy in the backseat with a bunch of taquitos and a pig when he finally heard form the AI. "Master! I have found Dib."

"Finally, what took you so long?" Zim yelled.

"The location Dib was taken to. It is called Superjail! and run by a Mark Williams as the Warden. Weird stuff happens there." Zim's Computer said.

"This is Dib we're talking about. He's into all that paranormal stuff." Zim dismissed. "So this is a prison?"

"Yes." The AI explained.

"Nice, so Dib got himself into trouble with the law!" Zim smirked greedily.

"I do not think so. According to bio-signatures, the Warden is a relative of Dib's by his father's blood. I do believe that from what data I had gathered about the place that the warden is Dib's uncle. And his behavior leads me to believe that insanity is a genetic trait in humans. There is also a midget with a big head and a muscular figure I cannot determine is male or female with him." Zim's computer added.

"Well, do you have the coordinates entered into the Voot Crusier?" Zim asked.

"Yes." The AI sighed. "Just be careful Master. While I do not like you, I am programmed to warn you about harm when you do something incredibly stupid like break into this place to get Dib."

"Your opinion has been noted and ignored." Zim said as he got into the cruiser. " Come GIR." He said as he started the ship up. As the ship flew, Zim lay back, twirling his laser gun, ready, at least in his mind for whatever he would need to do to get Dib out and destroy him at his base. As they approached the island, the usual purple clouds that looked like the Warden appeared and a volcanic island was seen. "Huh? I didn't think there was volcanic islands this far east?" Zim said looking around as the ship paused over the exercise yard of Superjail. He turned to GIR. "I need you to keep the ship here. I will go in, get Dib and will need you to pull us back in so we can head back to the base."

"YES SIR!" GIR saluted, eyes turning red, then back to playing a game of Go Fish with a pig in the back. "Piggy doesn't have any sevens! He needs to go fish!"

"Yes yes..." Zim dismissed. "Now I will go in and get Dib!" Zim said as he jumped from the Voot Cruiser to the yard.

As Zim left the Twins appeared in his seat. "This must be that Irken's SIR unit."

"Little robot, do you want to go home?" The other twin asked of GIR, sensing this one wasn't loyal or at least very stupid.

"Sounds like fun!" GIR said. "Just hit that button" he said pointing to a big red button "And we will go back to the base and I will throw us a party and have a cake!"

"Okay." The twins said as they pressed the button then disappeared. "See you."

"See you too!" GIR waved as the Voot Cruiser headed back to the base. As the cruiser left, Zim fell face first onto the concrete below.

"GIR!" Zim yelled standing up and looking around. "Ugggggh I shouldn't have trusted him on that. Should have gotten a mongoose or Minimoose or someone else to stay and watch the ship. No matter. I am a mighty Irken Invader. I can get out of here."

"And just who the hell are you?" One of the inmates said looking at the form of the Irken on the ground. "And what the hell are you doing here?"

So how was that? Good? Bad? Short? Long? Let me know in a review. Glad to see you readers like this idea and now that Zim is in Superjail! too with the inmates, the opportunities for craziness boggle the mind. I don't have much else to say here so remember to read (well you just did) and to review. Ciao for now,

otherrealmwriter

aka

Realm.


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own Invader Zim or Superjail okay? I know it's been awhile since I updated this one and I have been working on other projects but hey I am working a little at a time to get these updated. Anyway, enough of this A/N, on with the fic!

Zim looked up and around. His voot cruiser had gone, and he didn't know if he could get it to come back. Looking around he saw a bunch of fierce looking men in orange jumpsuits looking at him with some sort of enraged curiosity. Zim looked up at them with a feeble smile. You are a mighty Irken Invader! Why are you scared of these humans? He thought as he looked around. He was familiar with a few prisons in space, mainly what became of Vort, Moo-Ping 10 and Foodcourtia could be one during a Foodening. He had also watched plenty of crime dramas with GIR on the television in his base and saw what humans considered a prison. This did not seem like a typical Earth prison. If anything it reminded him of some of the ones that dictators in Earth's history had. Zim had studied them well for class projects and actually gotten an A for what he had learned about various prisons used by despots in the 20th century. Only Dib and Miss Bitters had seemed concerned he enjoyed the topic too much. However from a preliminary glance he had gotten flying over and falling into Superjail, it reminded him of those prisons mixed with something out of a Roald Dahl book. Why did I have to read about that damned Chocolate factory at what was supposed to be a level of a human teenager? It seemed much too easy for them... He moved to the corner of the rec yard, hoping not to be noticed, and thinking him looking like he did in a place like this, without his disguise, no one would.

"Hey you!" A dark well built inmate said pointing to Zim.

"Who me?" Zim asked pointing to himself.

"Yeah you! You a plant by the warden?" The inmate said as he picked Zim up and held him to his face.

"No, I am not a plant, even though my skin is green. Zim sees how you could be fooled. Humans who end up in prison are often very stupid." Zim said as he tried to kick the man who pulled back and punched him in the eye.

"Well you seem to be nuts." He said as he dropped Zim, causing another inmate to come up and kick him in the stomach.

"We ain't stupid. But you seem to be." This second inmate said as he kicked Zim in the guts again.

"Stop kicking Zim! I am a mighty Irken Invader and have sent fiercer fools to their doom!" Zim said as he tried to pull his laser pistol out of his PAK to get away.

"Stop kicking Zim!" One of the other prisoners mocked as he moved closer to him. "God you must have some serious mental issues. Don't know what you did to get put here but you aren't one for the loony bin if you were."

"Zim is not insane!" He said turning on his back and firing his laser in between two of the inmates, causing one who was talking with Ash to disintegrate in front of him. Ash, seeing someone he had related to turn to his namesake, panicked thinking somehow he had done that. Looking over at the source, he saw an injured Zim getting ganged up on by the other inmates. Running over he picked up Zim and held him close. "Who are you monster?" Zim yelled, recoiling in horror at the burn victim arsonist.

"I'm Ash, well at least that's what they call me here and I'm going to get you out of this. A riot is going to break down any second." Ash explained as he headed towards the door to get him to the doctor. Now he did not trust that man much himself. He reminded him of a bizarre Nazi scientist from a cartoonish movie but he did not want someone as small as Zim to get hurt in a place like this. He did have some resemblance of a personal code.

"How can you tell?" Zim said, having been in some prison riots on intergalactic prisons. Ash motioned as one of the inmates who was assaulting Zim got punched in the back of the head and that inmate's attention was turned to his assailant and the fight spread from there. Running into a corner, he sat Zim on his lap like Santa would to a child at Christmas and looked at him. "So, Zim is it? What are you in for?"

"I fell in. My robot flew my Voot cruiser back to my base-WAIT! Why am I telling you anything?" Zim said, realizing what he was doing.

"Fine. If that is the way you want it, I can put you back in that riot. Alice and Jailbot will be here any minute and you don't want to be in their way."

"Those flying white robots?" Zim asked as Ash nodded. "One of those things brought my archnemsis here. Dib is Zim's to destroy, not inmates in his uncle's prison!"

"Wait! You said The Warden is Dib's uncle?" Ash asked as Zim nodded.

"Indeed, at least from what my computer could tell from the impressive data it could collect. Now if you will excuse me, I must get Dib from his uncle's clutches and continue our fight. OW!" Zim yelled as he tried to get off Ash and try to find Dib.

"Not until you get to the doctor." Ash said as he carried Zim to the Superjail Infirmary. "He may know how to help whatever you have."

So this human is like all the others and just thinks I have a medical condition and I am in denial about my sanity. Whatever. I can use this. Zim thought as he looked up at Ash and nodded. He then knocked on the door to the infirmary and it opened. "Vat is it dis time?" The doctor said as he looked at Ash "I vill be very busy here with that riot. But oh vell, more to experiment vith." He sighed.

"Well I am here to bring you this little guy." Ash motioned to Zim.

"Dat is no guy. Dat is an Irken!" The doctor yelled. "Do you not know an alien vhen you see vone?" Zim gulped.

"I just assumed he was the byproduct of some of the madness here." Ash sighed.

"Vell I could see how you vould vink that..." The doctor sighed.

"Zim is no alien!" He sprung up only for the doctor to catch him and throw him in a cage.

"Ves you are. And I have some vings I vish to find out about you." The Doctor said as he pulled out a drill "Moo-Ping 10 doesn't share the information they used to."

"You know about Moo-Ping 10?" Zim gulped.

"Yes, they provide a lot of genetic samples. I tried to get to Vort but your people don't like to share. I vas about to get some from those goats before your people took them over." The Doctor sighed as Zim cowered in the corner. This human knew too much. He doubted Dib knew some of this even.

Meanwhile, Dib sat beside his uncle and his assistant bored. If he had wanted egotistical ramblings, he could have just stayed at his Dad's labs and heard his father talk. As he watched the bulky prisoners attempt to do a delicate Russian Christmas ballet, only to fumble almost comically, an alarm was heard and Jailbot flew over with a sign that flashed 'RIOT IN REC YARD 4'. "Oh dear. Alice, can you take care of that?" The Warden sighed.

"I'm on it sir." Alice saluted as she ran into the hall and the rec yard to quell the riot.

"Well, Jared, Dib follow me, we'll see what happened this time." The Warden sighed as casually as if he found out they were out of his favorite soda at the store. "You 5 guys just stand there and wait for us to come back. And don't think of trying anything. Johanssen there is a snitch."

"Umm... Mr. Davis..." Dib said, not sure if he could call this man his uncle.

"I keep telling you Dibby-poo, call me your Uncle Warden!" The Warden said as he hugged Dib close.

"Okay, Uncle Warden," Dib said, the words feeling gross coming off his tongue. "Why did you tell them who the snitch was? I mean in every prison movie I had seen, once the snitch was found they were-"

"Iced?" The Warden said. "Yes that was a risk I do run by telling them that, but it is also to see how effective my training is. Sometimes you just have to take chances like that. The Warden and Jared looked from behind a glass barrier over rec yard 4 as between Alice, Jailbot and a few creations that had the Warden's face on it, the riot was quelled, the fighters sedated and injured sent to the infirmary. Alice then picked up a guy who had a slight laser burn on his side, in addition to some shanking wounds and broken limbs and headed to where the Warden was standing. "Ah, Alice! Fine quick work as usual."

"This guy says he knows how the riot broke out." Alice grunted.

"I do. Some green kid fell in from the sky, one of the other guys accused him of being a plant by you Warden sir and they started beating him up and he snuck away while a fight broke out. That's all I know sir." The prisoner said. "He fired a laser towards Ash and Jimmy and Jimmy was disintegrated too. I think he claimed he was an Irken invader or something like that. Kid sounded like he was a few fries short of a happy meal and belonged in the nuthouse rather than here." The prisoner saw Dib and the Warden, "You make a bastard Warden?"

"No, he is family though. My nephew." The Warden began. "Well, sounds like a typical riot to me Alice-" The Warden began as Dib cut him off.

"ZIM!" Dib yelled turning to the inmate. "What else happened? Where is he now? Alice did you see anyone green?"

"No, I saw a few guys on fire and with missing limbs, nothing abnormal." Alice began as Dib turned back to the injured inmate.

"Okay you, you you..." Dib said as he grabbed the him by his torn orange jumpsuit.

"Uhhhhhh Johnny..."

"Reminds me of some insane murderer guy we had here once but got out somehow. Liked being called Nny and was rather artsy with that Happy Noodle Boy comic...think he got parole because of his artistic potential..." The Warden said as Dib cut him off. "That's not Nny though..."

"Ash took him to the infirmary. That caring bastard thought like we did that he was just a nutcase with a skin condition and thought the doctor could help him. That's all I know kid!"

Dib threw the inmate down and turned to his uncle. "Uncle Warden, where's the infirmary, I have got to handle this Zim that seems to be responsible for the riot that just happened here. I was fighting with him before you brought me here."

"Oh now Dibby-poo I cannot allow that right now. This is the exact thing your father warned me about and why he thought being here would be good for you. Besides, from the sound of it, the poor being got injured in the riot. Maybe if you behave I will let you visit your friend when he's stable and the doctor says it's okay." The Warden said as Dib sighed. "But don't fret. I think you showed good potential of being a warden here yourself the way you handled that guy."

God no! Dib thought as an image of him laughing manically over Superjail dressed in the same outfit, only with his hair pointing out beside the top hat But I have got to play along. Maybe they will find out Zim is an alien...

So how was that? Good? Bad? Short? Long? And yes I made a quick reference to Johnny the Homicidal Maniac here. And what is with The Doctor knowing of aliens and the Irken Empire? Well you'll have to read on to find out. With that, remember to read (well you just did) and review. Ciao for now,

otherrealmwriter

aka

Realm.


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own Invader Zim or Superjail! okay? I know I haven't updated this in awhile but I am taking a break from a few of my other fics for a little while. (The power of the Hetalia fandom can be quite compelling...) Anyway, enough of my rambling on what inspiration hits when, on with the fic!

Zim looked around in panic. From what he knew of human prisons, they were easy in and easy out for someone like him. He broke out of Foodcourita as a Foodening was about to begin even. So why now, was he scared by some crazy mad scientist doctor who sounded like one of the characters in a zombie killing game GIR played a lot of? Something must be wrong with that one Tony guy who he keeps playing with online, if he had been in Virginia after moving out of New Mexico in 1947, he must be ancient by human standards, well over 70 Earth years old...Zim thought as he ducked between the doctor's legs and headed for the door.

"Seriously, no wonder you were sent to dis planet if you think you can escape me like that!" Zim said as he ran towards the door. Seeing this, the doctor pressed a button putting a steel shutter in front of it.

"Let me go human!" Zim yelled as he slid to the door, now shuttered and yelled back.

"Seriously?" The Doctor laughed. "I am not about to let Irkens go. I've heard a lot about your physiology. Water burns you, and you cannot live without that PAK. I could use that to give a good project to the Warden. He has total control here and if I could adapt that technology, he would reward me and give me more funding towards the real projects I love." He said pointing to the genetic mutations that looked like it belonged out of a nightmare from H.G. Wells' mind. He reached for his laser gun and pointed it towards the doctor and fired who had taken one of his prisoners under his care and held it in front of him. "You are dumb if you think I won't sacrifice what I have failed on to study you!"

Fuck! Zim thought. He had grown used to fighting Dib and Dib did have a little bit of moral code when it came to fighting his enemies. In their fights, it was just him and Zim, no one else. Dib tried to avoid hurting the innocent in their fights, and over time, Zim saw Dib more and more as a rival and an equal to prove his superiority with. He had fought Sizz-lorr and the Sargent Hobo 678 on Hobo 13. But both times he had done so with cheating and stealth. This doctor had reminded him a little of that security guard Slab Rankle when he tried to return that DVD that GIR had held onto too long. Think of what you did there, that mall security human had a zombie soldier lab, so he's kind of like this guy... Zim thought. He looked around to see if there was another way out of the lab. Most labs had intensive ventilation systems. Zim recalled trying to use one to sneak into Professor Membrane's labs when Skool had a "Take your Child to Work" day. Seeing a vent towards the ceiling, Zim jumped up onto one of the experimental tanks and activated the jet boosters in his PAK. With this, the doctor had grabbed what seemed to be a rope and twirled it like a lasso. "Oh no you don't my pretty little Irken. I know the Tallest won't help you, even if you weren't banished!"

"Zim isn't banished! This is a top secret mission assigned to me because I am-!" Zim yelled to reply to the doctor's taunting when the rope grabbed him by the foot and pulled him down. His PAK's boosters were on full blast until they had run out of power and shut down to recharge. With this, he fell over 20 feet to the floor of the lab and looked up at the doctor.

"Like I said, I know much more about your world than you think. It's common knowledge among the galaxy that you are indeed, banished. Hell the Tallest broadcast that all over the galaxy after the Great Assigning. Laughing about it." The doctor tormented Zim.

"YOU'RE LYING!" Zim yelled sitting up pointing at him until the doctor tugged the rope down and Zim fell on his back.

"Devil's advocate, I am not." The Doctor teased. "Say I am mistaken on your banishment. You're not that tall for an Irken. Your people are judged by your height. The Tallest wouldn't go out of their way for you. You're meaningless to them!"

Zim looked around. This was something he couldn't deny. The doctor was right on that fact. "Well...what Zim lacks in physical height, I make up for in skill and raw talent!" He grabbed the rope that the doctor had tied him up with and tried to wiggle it down. "Just say, what is this stuff made from? It's kind of burning me and is squishy."

"Intestine. I grow it to replace inmates who get shanked in the guts and disemboweled." The Doctor said as he grabbed the intestine rope and tied Zim's hands and feet up with it like a rancher would a calf.

"Impressive." Zim commented.

"Thank you very much." He said as he picked Zim up and carried him over his shoulder. It was at this time, the meat and acid of the intestines started to burn more.

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF SQUEEDLEYSPOOCH!" Zim yelled as the doctor held on tighter. "This is a slow burn. Did you know meat burns me or was that an accident?" He hissed.

"Happy accident." He said as he threw Zim into a cage and locked it behind him. "Gute Nacht." He waved as he headed back into the infirmary, ready to meet the Warden and the injured inmates. Undoing the steel shutter, the Warden stood in the doorway clueless.

"Oh doctor, what happened here?" The Warden asked.

"Oh, you know how some of my experimental failures can go." He shrugged. "I am getting ready for the inflow from the riot."

"Good." The Warden said. "Now my nephew's green friend seemed to have accidentally started this and was reported to be taken here. Any news?"

"Yes. I have him isolated away to heal. I worry that any of the inmates who see Zim will want to get back at him while he is hurt. I don't know how he got in but rest assured Warden, he will receive the best of my care and least amount of experiments."

"Good." The Warden smiled. "I just wish I could find something to control these inmates. I mean I offer out of the goodness of my heart to reform these prisoners. They are the worst of the worst, so they need the toughest of technology and punishments to make them productive members of society again. If they keep rioting, and my whole ballet program isn't working, I need to think of something better."

"Vell, I have this idea. A PAK that is put on the inmate's back that keeps the inmates alive and if they misbehave we can unplug it and they die in 10 minutes." The doctor explained. Zim heard this conversation and gulped. He knew where the doctor got the idea. From his PAK.

"I like I like... we could have the inmates under control in a heartbeat with that. You work on the biological part and I will come up with the design for you to work with. It has to have my face all over it though." The Warden took a note pad and drew what looked like a backpack made of his face with tentacles coming out. "This look good?"

"You build the mechanics, I will give it to you to test." The Warden smiled as he twirled his cane, which came from nowhere, and twirled his top hat around before placing it back on his head. "I may put my nephew Dibby-poo onto this. My brother would be so proud to see his brain put to work like that."

"Ja, ja, sounds good. Now let me get back to my vork." The doctor said.

"Sure thing. I will send you a prototype right away." The Warden smiled as he headed back to the office where he had Jared and Dib sitting.

"So, how did you get this job?" Dib asked, trying to kill time before his uncle came back and he could try to talk him into catching Zim when he was already weakened and in the infirmary.

"Not many people will hire an accountant once they get arrested cooking the books for the Mafia. Not like they believed me that I didn't know. I got sent here, then got the books back on track for The Warden and got this job." Jared explained.

"So you got in over your head and then got permanent work release here?" Dib asked.

"I don't like your tone. I did't simply get in over my head. I wouldn't expect a 15 year old kid to really understand, no matte who his father and uncle are. In fact you seem to think as much of me as your uncle does. Maybe he's right, you would be perfect for his job." Jared sassed. He did not like his past being talked about so by the Warden let alone the Warden's nephew who was on some sort of bizzare scared straight program. "If you don't watch it with you and that Zim kid's fighting, then you'll find yourself here."

"My dad says shit like that..." Dib sulked.

"Wipe that frown from your face my dear Dibby poo nephew." The Warden said as he came into the room with a large smile.

"You're going to let me see Zim?" Dib asked.

"Not yet. The doctor says he's not fit to see anyone he got hurt that bad." The Warden said sounding rather disappointed. Dib raised his eyebrow. "But I do have a project that I think you may be able to help me with. Show me how much of my brother's brain you have. I mean Membrane labs helped me improve Jailbot and make the many, upon many, upon, many bots I needed and to set up a good way to repair them."

"Yeay Dad..." Dib said.

"Yes, he's great for that." The Warden said not noticing Dib's sarcasm "But the doctor had an idea to help control the inmates and you would be perfect to help me on, like a little intern and it would be quite an accomplishment on your college resumes. Having assisted on something like this at the tender age of 15..."

Yeah that will look real good...Dib thought sarcastically. "What is it?" Dib asked, minding his tone because while The Warden missed some earlier sarcasm, if he was going to let him see Zim he had to make him happy.

"A PAK." The Warden said placing his drawing on the table in front of Jared and Dib. "The doctor will perfect the biomechanics of putting them on the inmates but he commissioned me to come up with the functions of it. It will control the behavior of the inmates and we won't need that electric chair or lethal injection anymore."

"They will behave with this?" Jared asked. "Like we can convince the judges that the inmate's sentence should be life without parole?"

"Well we'd just have to pull the PAK out. 10 minutes and the misbehaving inmate or one on death roe anyway would aaaakkkgghhh..." The Warden said as he took his finger and drew a line across his neck sticking his tongue out.

"Well, that would reduce power and medicine costs from prescription drug makers..." Jared said running some numbers on some paper real quick, knowing how many executions went on in Superjail.

"So what do you think Dibby-poo?" The Warden asked.

Dib smiled. He was talking about an Irken's PAK, somehow getting the idea from Zim, Dib assumed. This was something he knew a bit about already. His years of spying on Zim would pay off to get him closer to his goal. "Sure Uncle Warden." Dib smiled wide.

"Awwwww so precious. I may just talk your father into letting Gaz be the heiress to Membrane Labs and you the heir to Superjail." The Warden said as Dib's smile fell. Why do I keep getting told I would be good at his job? He thought as he looked at the design and then began to draw some schematics based off what he knew from Zim's PAK.

So how was that? Good? Bad? Short? Long? Let me know in a review. And Tony is the name of the alien that crashed in Roswell in Hetalia and lives with America and is addicted to video games. (Although the creator of Hetalia apparently has no idea what Roswell looks like when Tony is introduced...) Couldn't resist that little cameo. I just love mixing so many different alien races together when I write Invader Zim fics. Really do. Anyway, remember to read, well you just did, and to review. Ciao for now,

otherrealmwriter

aka

Realm.


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